Monday, March 7, 2016

...

This will be a very personal post, so if you don't feel comfortable with this kind of things, you can stop reading right now.
My dad died on 17th February, after three wonderful (yes!) years of fighting with cancer. The most kind, wise, patient and loving man I've ever known. The best dad I could ever imagine. During his life he fought so many life-threatening health conditions  and still lived a full, beautiful and meaningful life to the very end. I will be always thankful for him to all forces of the Universe.
He was also my greatest fan - always curious about new things I made, new tools I bought, starting his day from checking my website and Facebook page. Of course I know, that at the beginning, when I decided to start my own business he was worried about me. Still, he always was my greatest supporter. This is one of my favourite photos of him. I took it during one of our "sunrise" trips we had last year. Me, my dad (on the right) and my brother.





One of the last pieces I made that my dad saw, was that teddy bear with a heart I designed for the new one day class. He showed it immediately to my mom, and because she loved it too, he asked me to make similar one as a gift from him to her, for Valentine's day. I managed to finish it, just 2 days before he died. I will always remember him, so weak, in a hospital bed, giving it to my mom, with all his love. Now she wears it every day. This tiny, silver bear probably will remain the most important piece I've made in all my life.






The same day I also managed to show him the cover of the newest issue of Handmade Business with me on it, wearing one of my pieces. I was so happy I could make him proud once again. He was only able to smile, but it meant the world to me - I will always treasure this moment. He collected all the publications with my pieces, showing them to his friends. I miss him so much. So much. And I am so thankful for all these years. For all the books he read to me when I was a child (and recorded some of them! So I can still listen to them...), for all the conversations about science and philosophy, for unconditional love and all his wisdom. Also for showing, not only to me, but to everyone around, that being terminally ill doesn't mean dying. It means LIVING and appreciating every single day.

Thank you dad. I will always love you.

6 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry for your loss, Anna! I lost my father 2-1/2 years ago, also after a protracted illness. We had never been very close, although he was of course very proud of my accomplishments. With his illness (and my mother already gone), he moved close to me and we spent a lot of time together. I look back on that time as a huge, unexpected blessing. So I entirely understand that terminal illness can have a good side. Blessings on you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Vickie. I've always had very close relationship with my dad - I was a typical "daddy's girl" I guess. My parents moved very close to me two years ago - I was able to spend time with my dad every day, and I treasure every moment of that. And now it's so good that my mom lives here too. We can support each other and maybe grow closer.

      Delete
  2. He was a very lucky man Anna, the world owes him thanks helping get you here, so you can share your art and love with us. And him.

    He could only be utterly proud of you.

    As we all age and watch those we love fall away, each and every day becomes more precious, and a little darker. Each piece you pour your love into, rages against the dying of life's light. For all of us. Such is art.

    And if your eyes and hands ever give out, you could always use words as an artistic medium. Your words about your father shows you are a beautiful writer too.

    But please take care of those eyes and hands for a long time to come...
    And don't forget to call your Mother often! :)


    Sincerely Yours,
    Kelly Brown
    Kellterra
    Austin, TX

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your comment. I really appreciate it. Thankfully my mom lives very close to me, so we can support each other.

      Delete
  3. Wow, thank you so much for sharing a huge part of your heart. Made me cry because it resonates so deep to my own father and struggle with cancer. How our passion for something sparks so much pride and love from one who raises us. I will never forget my dad just watching me one day putting together a bench and he says "you really like building and creating things don't you?" I said "well ya, I wish there were more time in the day tho" he just laughed and said "well, you are my daughter". He never doubted that it was meant as a joke, but more to say he's proud.
    I just wanted to say thank you for sharing.
    I'm only learning with PMC still but I am loving it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your comment! It really means a lot.

      Delete